Starting out

So, I need a place to just veg and complain. I also thought that since I suck at writing down my thoughts, and usually take them out on my poor husband during the day, I needed to find a place online to do it. So, welcome to my veggy journal online.

So, today I woke up before the alarm went off at 7:30AM for my husband, Jon, to get up for work. I stared at the wall across from me and couldn't place a single good thought through my brain. I mean, besides, "What in the world am I doing awake?" Finally the alarm went off and I pushed the snooze button. About five times of pushing the snooze button for Jon, he finally got up to get going to work. He usually leaves at 8:30AM. Something about not getting up right away always makes me wonder what he did before I came around. I, of course, stayed in bed. He had opened all of the windows, except the boy's room, up last night. So, the whole house was freezing. At about 9AM Kenre woke up screaming bloody murder. He was calling out for me rapidly and screaming in a high pitched squeal! I rushed into the boy's room to see him really crying in his sleeper cot. He hugged me like he didn't think I'd come for him. I shrugged it off, though. I'm getting used to this nightmare thing coming from the boys. I just wish I knew how to stop them. Alex's nightmares, though, are just a product of his living. Kenre, on the other hand, I think is teething so maybe it's causing his brain to register the pain during his sleep as a nightmare.

We decided (I decided) that we would return to my bed. I lay there listening to him babble to me for almost a whole hour. He's so cute. I have no idea what he was telling me, but since I asked him what his dream was about, I'm guessing it was that. I just went by his facial features for my reactions. It seems to work, and it keeps him happy for a long while. Finally, though, he wanted to start to walk around my bed. It's way too high, though, so I knew I had to get up.

We went into the livingroom to start our day. I drank my instand breakfast drink and gave him a bottle and changed his diaper. He picked out a Signing Time video to watch and I held him while we watched it.

I should have really been getting all of the clothes off my couch, though. I went through all of the laundry and washed everything again. Now, I'm trying to put it all away. I have one week until Kenre's first birthday party. I'm terrified. I don't know what we're going to do. We're broke. I don't know what theme we want to do. I don't know what games to do, either! I mean, he'll be the only one year old there! Everyone else is his cousins and they're way older than him. I know his older brother, Alex, will probably be fighting with everyone over his toys. This is going to be a major disaster, especially when my mother-in-law shows up. Cindy hates me! I begged Jon to just accidently forget to send her an invite, but he said we can't do that. This woman lives to torture me! I have no friends in this town, and I'm blaming her. She is the mayor's wife. She knows everyone!

Speaking of knowing everyone, I got the most evil of looks today from a couple in the shopping mart. I mean, I felt like crying. I even looked down to see if maybe I had put on one of Jon's offensive shirts on accident! Nope, plain white t-shirt and khaki pants. My baby boy was wearing his Minnesota Twins baseball PJ's, which he looks so cute in! My pentacle was inside my shirt, so I know they weren't offended by that. I can't think of anything that would make them want to burn me with such intense staring! Except that I can't find any friends because people avoid me like I have the plague!

Maybe I do have the plague... maybe I'm just a boring Pagan woman trying to live in this Christian world. I just wish I could find a lot of people around me who are like me. Just want to sit in the grass with some soda and watch our kids play on the jungle bars. Talking about nothing and everyone bragging about their kids. I would just love to sit back and laugh with a friend again.

Jon is so boring and Kenre is 11 months old and not much of a conversationlist. We only have Alex every other weekend, but he sure can be interesting sometimes!

So, after this long thing about my day, how about some people becoming my friend?